Reaching

In an Interview I was asked "What are your goals"

(um too many to count)

When I think about it, What am I striving for? What am I reaching toward?

There isn't a single thing anyone could ever tell me, to make me stop "reaching". So my answer is usually some work related position that at this moment I desire. My desires change, thus making me reach higher.  I enjoy the climb. 

I do not give up, and I have actually watched myself succeed beyond my own expectation. This fact alone is just one of the dozens of reasons I have for my proof that there is a God. 

So why would I stop reaching ever?

Some could argue that "if I am truly happy, then why am I {reaching} for things to change. "
It's not that I am unhappy. It's more like I am happy but I want to see just how happy I can get - if that makes sense.
Reaching and pushing myself to live life to the absolute fullest, don't let a day go by where you haven't expressed your love for someone. I don't mean romantic love, I mean like love- just as another person to a person I love their presence, and attitude. Basically its putting out love in the world by just being kind and a loving person by nature. So if more Godly love in the world is what I'm reaching for then I stand case in point "no one will ever be able to tell me anything to make me stop reaching"
This is my oath to God- a public oath. I will always know in my heart there is a God, and he is awesome to say the least.
I'm not out here on my psychological soapbox to preach "I'm just sayin"- I feel like someone should make that a sermon series title. Pastor Terry - comon now brainstorm session !
So I will be living each day to the fullest, making the best of any situation is something I have actually gotten better at. Yay!
I will continue to reach, and stretch myself to grow. Each day comes new life experiences, and lessons. And I promise each day I will look at God and (with his help) remain patient with his teaching and my growth.
I am reaching for growth, and to be closer to god and his love. I'd say what other reason is there to live?


Okay I'm jumping off my soapbox train now.

This is your reminder.

Parent the definition 

Main Entry: 1par·ent 

Pronunciation: \ˈper-ənt\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin parent-, parens; akin to Latin parere to give birth to

Date: 15th century

1 a : one that begets or brings forth offspring b : a person who brings up and cares for another 2 a : an animal or plant that is regarded in relation to its offspring b : the material or source from which something is derived c : a group from which another arises and to which it usually remains subsidiary <a parent company>

Now who do I write to to add these additional things to the parents dictionary? 

Parent -: zoo keeper, pro wrestler, head chef, therapist, criminal negotiator, maid.

I feel as though parents -more often than not- struggle with negativity. Whether it be negativity about or for other parents, negativity about a spouse and their assistance in said "parenting", or constantly being our own worst critic. That last one I am so beyond guilty of experiencing on a daily basis. I am not trying to sound hypocritical but I am trying to tell you- "YOU'RE NOT ALONE!"

Just yesterday I was thinking "My goodness James is there ever a time where you just could maybe be quiet and not tell me everything..." 

To be honest that sounds terrible of Me to think but I'm not the only guilty party on this planet lets just all be honest now shall we. My son talks quite a bit to me -and facing a what currently was a painful migraine made everything that he was saying (and doing as a matter of fact) just to make my head hurt worse. 

I did stop a moment and pray a prayer something like "God is it me?!" 

The thought that was released in my mind after I asked that was pretty much a confirming "yes". 

This is what I thought: my son is with me all day everyday. Out of all the people in the world I figure he would be sick of me first. But he isn't. He constantly is telling me things, pointing stuff out, wanting me to play with him etc. he plays with other kids but if mommy is playing too then he could care less about the other kids. 

I mean it's ME. He must think I'm something special or I dunno...Then I felt my spirits lift. It was a boost of sorts. If I had to be around someone that much I surely would be annoyed with them but he never gets tired of me. That's when I asked my son (almost as a joke and with a laugh) "do you think mommy is awesome?" And my son stopped messing with the DVDs and their respected cases and looked at me and said "yea" and then went back to what he was doing. He doesn't remember the time I lost my cool because he deliberately dumped shredded cheese on the carpet, he thinks I'm his comforter, his healer and among other things the stuff listed below the "official" definition of a parent.

I need to ease up on myself. Maybe easing up on others is your thing? Maybe easing up on your spouse because they don't parent the way you do is your thing? Maybe it's every single one of those options and then some. 

Ease up folks. You are doing your best. 

It is going to be just fine.  

You are a good mom.

You are a good dad.

Now repeat it until you believe it. 

Dear motherhood...

Dear motherhood,

    I don't think I'm doing this right. According to standards I am supposed to not give my son extra sugar, or processed foods, or anything from china, or too much attention, or hugs, or kisses, or BAH! 

I am sorry if I treat my sons call through the baby monitor of "mommy hold you" like my own personal "bat call". I'll barrel roll off the bed, pop up with comfy sweats, shimmy to the door, throw my hair up (this mommy stuff- means business. Can't have no rogue hairs in my face), dodge any toy car or block that my son has left as a possible land mine in my living room and/or hallway, until I reach my sons room where I slowly open my sons door and scoop him up in my arms and settle his fears while reminding him that mommy is here for him. What I hear is my son asking to be held and gosh darn it I'm going to hold him as much as I humanly can before he resents me for being "lame" and "mean". Motherhood, it just so happens I don't like when my son is playing and another child shoves/pushes/hits my son for no reason and their parents do nothing- so pardon me while I:

1. Block a kick/hit or two going in my sons direction

2. Sternly tell some other kid "ABSOLUTELY NOT! It's not okay to hit"

3. Deflect the disapproving looks from said child's parent that magically now is paying attention to them. 

4. Retaliate the look with an equally nasty look of "if your kid touches my son again I will THROW DOWN and make a scene due to your blatant negligence".

Motherhood your tougher than I was warned. Let me explain. Being pee'd on and puked on, and woken up at all hours of the night (for what seems like no reason), messy diapers that smell like rotting vinegar with a hint of "oh my good lord!!", and the all the blood curling screams was something I hadn't planned for. I got through it though. 

However -on the other hand-your way more awesome than I was warned too. Snuggles, kisses, hugs, compliments from strangers of having the cutest baby ever and OH unconditional love- blessings. 
Is it standard to become super maternal? From nuzzling my son like a mama bear would nuzzle her cub, to falling asleep with my son so close to my side you almost cant see him. WhatEv's 

As for the standards that I appear to not be conforming to-You know where you can put those. Motherhood you and I are similar in some ways. You're one tough bitch... But I am tougher. 

I am doing this my way. 

I'm sorry but...

You should try reading these next statements with "I'm sorry but..." before you start each number.

1. Your kid will fall off the bed- listen I don't mean to sound brash but it happens. Whether it be the couch or the bed they are going to fall off at some point. Also ties into your kid will get hurt. Cuts/scrapes/ other boo boos are going to happen. Your job is to be prepared for them and try your best to prevent them. But sometimes no matter how careful you are  -let me just say it- shit happens. 
2. No blood no bandaid. A lot of people freak out when their child falls and just simply lands on their butt. Let me give you a hint- they won't freak out if YOU don't freak out. I normally stop and like freeze in my tracks and look at my son and wait for his unguided expression of pain or being scared. I have quickly learned my son is pretty freaking durable. I look in his eyes when I help him back up and sweetly say "you are okay" and smile. I guess it is going to come in handy later in life metaphorically speaking . When he falls down I will be there to encourage/ help him Stan back up and remind him he is okay.
3. You will lie to your kids. I never wanted to lie to my son. Like EVER. But I found that I was catching my self in little white lies to keep my sanity in tact. Like when your child has a favorite toy that is especially noisy and only has one freaking setting-loud as heck- and after a while the noise induces your body to produce twitching like actions. Yeah at that point you need to do something. Suggestion: with ninja like actions sneak into said child's room and smuggle the toy out of there like a columbian drug lord, and if anyone asks "Its Broken...Uh oh?"
4. Your going to think other kids are ugly compared to your beautiful creation. 
5. You aren't in the parent club until someone asks you if your kid clad in all blue and a baseball cap (or in all pinks and a tutu) is a boy or girl. SMH. 

Can I get a witness.

Wondrous Quesadillas

Wondrous quesadillas!

Toddler approved! 

Ingredients:

Flour tortillas (I only used three being that there is only three in my family)

Ground beef 1 lb

Frozen grilled chicken chunks 

Butter

Shredded mild, sharp, and medium cheddar cheese (I found all three mixed in a bag) 

Steps!

1. Brown ground beef

2. Heat up chunked grilled chicken 

3. On one side only butter one side of the tortilla.

--On medium heat -- heat a large pan to fit a tortilla (folded in half)

[now here is a part where you kida have to work quickly: especially if your pan is already heated]

4. Place tortilla butter side down in pan and on half place a handful of shredded cheese (of all three) in only half of the tortilla. (you might hear a bit of a sizzle when the tortilla touches the pan depending on how hot it is --it's okay) 

Spoon ground beef over half of the tortilla (over the shredded cheese) 

5. place chunked chicken on top of the ground beef 

6.Then quickly fold empty half of the tortilla over the full half. 

Using a spatula press the tortilla down a little so everything sticks together and the cheese spreads-- NICE AND GOOEY!--

Check the bottom side often until golden brown and flip. Continue cooking on the other side until golden brown. I like to use a pizza cutter to cut into triangles and then serve. 

I like to serve them with queso cheese, salsa, guacamole, and sour cream!