Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I'm sorry but...


You should try reading these next statements with "I'm sorry but..." before you start each number.
  1. Your kid will fall off the bed- listen I don't mean to sound brash but it happens. Whether it be the couch or the bed they are going to fall off at some point. Also ties into your kid will get hurt. Cuts/scrapes/ other boo boos are going to happen. Your job is to be prepared for them and try your best to prevent them. But sometimes no matter how careful you are  -let me just say it- shit happens. 
  2. No blood no bandaid. A lot of people freak out when their child falls and just simply lands on their butt. Let me give you a hint- they won't freak out if YOU don't freak out. I normally stop and like freeze in my tracks and look at my son and wait for his unguided expression of pain or being scared. I have quickly learned my son is pretty freaking durable. I look in his eyes when I help him back up and sweetly say "you are okay" and smile. I guess it is going to come in handy later in life metaphorically speaking . When he falls down I will be there to encourage/ help him Stan back up and remind him he is okay.
  3. You will lie to your kids. I never wanted to lie to my son. Like EVER. But I found that I was catching my self in little white lies to keep my sanity in tact. Like when your child has a favorite toy that is especially noisy and only has one freaking setting-loud as heck- and after a while the noise induces your body to produce twitching like actions. Yeah at that point you need to do something. Suggestion: with ninja like actions sneak into said child's room and smuggle the toy out of there like a columbian drug lord, and if anyone asks "Its Broken...Uh oh?"
  4. Your going to think other kids are ugly compared to your beautiful creation. 
  5. You aren't in the parent club until someone asks you if your kid clad in all blue and a baseball cap (or in all pinks and a tutu) is a boy or girl. SMH. 
Can I get a witness.


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