Things I have learned since college.

Things I have realized since leaving college:

1. I stole from my own education. At my college we were allowed to take 4 days off per semester per class for say, family emergencies, sick...etc without penalization. I mean if I missed a test my grades would be penalized... If I missed too many days I would automatically fail the class. Well I remember taking all four days off every semester "just because". I literally stole from my own education. What I probably missed those days that were taken off was probably one of the creative challenges that I have had to face the hard way like after college. 

2. I have a really bad habit of learning things the hard way. Maybe that's what life's trials are really what it's all about. We are learning things the hard way. We're constantly looking backward too- so imagine our life an avatar (person). Imagine it walking down the street and it's constantly looking over its shoulder not once looking ahead (I.e seeing a problem coming) -- or even taking a moment to see what's around her/him right now. 

Can you see where I went with that? 

Stop looking to the past. Enjoy what's around your present, occasionally glance forward to see if problems are coming? Because problems come... No matter what. 

3. I have had three amazing #1 teachers since high school. But two were in college.

 Huge shout out to Ms. Serena Mason and her stellar history class. She made me view history differently and I owe it to her- so I am shouting it from the rooftops! Read the newspaper daily! You will never be talking to someone ever and lack something to talk about. There is more to history than just dates and names. There was emotion, feeling, passion, and our own discovery as Americans. This woman means a lot to me. If she doesn't to you it's either because you haven't really ever met her (but come on from what I said she is pretty freakin' cool), any other reason is unacceptable and we wouldn't be able to be friends. 

Let's not do that to ourselves - we should just be friends. Anyway-- I love you Ms. Mason! Don't ever change. 

(Oh sorry for the very probable grammar mistakes you are probably noticing and going "ugh ms. Florio"... By the way it's Mrs. Sturdevant now.)

Mrs. Michelle Post

My class experience one again was a spiritual journey and a passionate one. I stepped out of my box in a way that proclaimed my dislike for the way that we weren't allowed to talk about (or say for that matter) "God". I demanded my professor say it because I wanted her to and frankly was willing to go all the way to the dean of the college if someone had a problem. Michelle gave me the movie "Facing the Giants." And thanked me. I cried during that movie and I still have it and show people it when ever I get the chance. Thanks to Michelle for all of that and forever will be apart of my spiritual journey.

 

Ed Popvitz

Creatively he was an inspiration and someone who introduced me to some other designers too. He might think he was just a "teacher" but I strictly  remember pulling the most out of my design career from this man. Technique, and versatility, folding variations, oh and how to eat a cupcake properly. If I could go back or even to one of his classes now I would plead with the people in there to listen to this man and to take notes! He knows what he is talking about!  

So far that's all I have gathered that I feel I need to share. 

New Normal

A lot of people ask me "How did you turn out so normal?" Quite often. My answer was God. Always has and always will be. However today I had sort of an epiphany. I am by no means "Normal" by what society deems. Maybe that's why I feel so rejected all the time and automatically assume rejection before I actually have proof. Constantly struggling with the negative or paranoid side of me-- these things are not understood as normal alone and they are the product of what I feel is rejection the said thing making me think I am not normal. More not-normal-ness

Did I lose you?

I'm sorry. I rant you see and even now as I type this I wonder what some stranger across the United States will think of me if by any chance they read this... My automatic assumption is they will hate me. The cocky side of me wants to keep saying  they will love me so much that it causes them to hate me but that's on a much deeper level and we won't get into that.

My emotions are something that makes me feel like me. If I am feeling "dead" inside I am feeling emotionless. I am passionate And I feel that is a quality that some people have lost... And I just so happen to grow up with some trivial people who "normally" influence an individual's life in were direct and immediate contact with me through my entire life who were in fact "passionless". 

Sorry but I'm not sorry. Did I make you question our relationship and make you wonder if I'm talking about you? If that thought even crossed your mind I want you to follow up your own subconscious questions with this one: What are you to your very core passionate about? Now I said to your core. CORE. You can be passionate about your children because you brought them to life... Sure. But is that the real answer you're going to go with?  If you came up with an answer to the passion question and you're sure that I couldn't be talking about you then we solved it-- I'm not taking about you. I am going to digress...

I think "normally" THAT much direct contact with people who are supposed to represent what "normal" is-- will completely deflate any sort of passion within you almost "naturally". Or instinctively if you feel that it's necessary for survival. 

I managed to find my passion early... And at first it was extremely secretive, but it allowed me harvest and grow my abilities and I may not put all my work in Facebook, or my portfolio websites for eyes to see but I certainly am learning constantly and still growing my talent.

God led me to people who would plant more seeds, and encourage me to grow.  

God saves me before during and after trial and tribulation. Before: creating nerves to withstand- a heart to stand up- and the mind to speak. During: just making sure I didn't get too much to bring me to the end of my sanity and life to be honest. And after : using me as a guide for someone who he will design similar to me. I shouldn't be the way I am to most people because they haven't been through what I have, they haven't seen the things I have, they haven't felt the hurt that I have. Not that my hurt is better or greater than yours it's just MY hurt. So putting themselves briefly in my shoes leads them to the conclusion that I shouldn't be normal. 

Im here to tell you folks My god is so good like that. So no, I am not normal, and I'm proud of that. I wouldn't change it for the world. But to those who have asked me that or stated something similar along those lines to me- after hearing my story and seeing what I do, for my self and other people, how even though I thoroughly I believe in the "do unto others as you would have done unto  yourself" so deliberately hurting others is a tragedy in my eyes-- how could you look at me after all of that and not believe in anything not even God? I feel like I should be posting some verse of "blindly following God" up here. Believing in him is the start. Stories like mine he created to start in your mind that very process. 

Plant the seed.

Now he's going to water it. 

http://youtu.be/DUvHO33iaxg

"Let it grow , let it grow"

This is going to be my "New normal" post.